i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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