My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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