The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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