I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
