my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
