um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
