You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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