Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Houston, we have a blender
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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