Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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