you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize