waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
