is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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