I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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