ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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