And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
