omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
