It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
