It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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