I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
