chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
