Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
