is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
