thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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