i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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