One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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