She's JV to your varsity
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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