my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize