from now on my penis is your penis
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize