I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sext me about skeletons
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
