bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
