BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Will exercising make me less horny?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
