No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
