i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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