I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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