Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
