We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
