I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
