idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
