At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
