Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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