Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
