So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
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he thought i was a dude.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize