The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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