Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
