nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
