Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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