Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
