she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
