did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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