I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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