What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
