Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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