heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
