You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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