More tranny stories later!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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