Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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