So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
