You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
