i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We need to rekindle our bromance
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
