handjob tips. give me some.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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