Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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