just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize