doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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