she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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